Needling & Teasing ~ Is It Funny?

NEEDLING & TEASING ~ IS IT FUNNY?

Have you ever been needled? I'm fairly certain you have because it's so common and accepted.

What is needling?

It means to prod or goad a person; to tease or taunt a person.

What needling can look like:

Provoking, antagonizing, pressing buttons, baiting, undermining confidence, trying to control, backhanded compliments, dismissing what's important, snarky comments.

Reading this you may have thought of times you've been needled and maybe people who needle you on a regular basis.

It's annoying, often insulting and has no truly positive motive behind it, despite the justifications you often hear: 

😬 I was only kidding

🤨 I tease you because I love you

🙃 You're taking it the wrong way

Most people who needle others don't see the harm in it. To them it is amusing and they believe it should be amusing to you too.

If you react uncomfortably to being needled it's because in some way you perceive the negative flavor of it, despite the "joking" & "kidding."

If you call it out, the needler has no shortage of justifications:

You are too sensitive

You take things too seriously

You can't take a joke

 If you try to explain, you are only proving their point.

This is so common that I am sure you have experienced it many times. In fact, it is the building block of many TV shows & talk shows.

It sells because we've been taught that it's OK, that it IS amusing, there's no harm in it, etc.

My points:

😵‍💫 People who needle, tease & taunt do not see the harm in it

😬 People who needle, tease & taunt will defend themselves by blaming YOU if you object

🧐 People who object to being needled are not too sensitive but actually sensitive enough to feel the hidden negative intent

😇 People who object to being needled are reacting appropriately

My view is that whenever needling, teasing, taunting, et al, is at the expense of the other person, it is at best unfriendly, and at worst a covert expression of hostility. 

And in neither case are we obligated to accept it, tolerate it or go along with it by laughing when we actually feel otherwise.

I hope this supports you in whatever ways you choose to handle needling.

© 2026

Jayne Johnson & The Clearing Sight Inc